


The Day She Went

by hecalledherlittlewolf



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Battle, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 05:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2681492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hecalledherlittlewolf/pseuds/hecalledherlittlewolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fenris and Hawke after they escaped the chaos of Kirkwall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. After the Storm

   The arrows whizzed by my ear, blowing my hair over my shoulder. I won't be surprised later if I'm missing a few strands. The archer, a smug grin of triumph on his face, does not look quite so proud as he realizes my Winter's Grasp spell is slowly freezing his exterior from the ground up. It can happen much more quickly, instantly even, if I allow it. But I'm not in a very merciful mood today, and the look on his face is priceless.

  I can almost feel Fenris's skin bristle as he watches me torture the poor foe. I expect his reaction before the words even leave his lips.

  "Marrian, stop this. There's no need to let his death drag on. We need to move."

  The urgency in his voice is less due to the fact that we've been here fighting off these bandits much too long, and more because he still can't get comfortable around my use of magic. I sigh and release the strain on the spell, allowing it to instantly engulf the man in ice, freezing every nerve and blood cell and vein from the inside out, toes to crown. It might be a gruesome sight if you could see past the immense shards that form from the deathly low temperature emanating from the man as he becomes a beacon of frost.

  I look over at Fenris, who has his eyes narrowed at me. "I did not fight the Templars for you just so you could have your fun torturing our enemies. We need to move on. We do not yet know if we were followed."

  "As you say."

  I give a last glance to the ambush sight, the charred and electrocuted and frozen corpses strewn about among Fenris's ravaged victims will make for a sore sight to anyone who stumbles across it. I sigh. It seems a trail of bodies is going to follow wherever I go.

  I'm certain the Templars will have a devastating backlash for the Circle. Nothing short of an Exalted March, if history is of any account. We've been moving for days nonstop, trying to put as much distance between us and Kirkwall as possible. I'm not sure what became of Anders. I was probably stupid for sparing him, but after all we went through, it seemed a waste to end his life there. And I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of being a martyr for the mages as they rise. If anyone deserves praise for what's happened here, it should be Meredith. Her insanity pushed even Knight-Captain Cullen over the edge. I was surprised when he helped me stand against her. After what I've heard he went through at the Circle of Magi in Ferelden, he wasn't the man I would have placed on the side of the magic-blessed Champion of Kirkwall. Either way, he was invaluable in the end. I absently wonder what became of him.

\--

  The fire crackles quietly as its embers reach for the star-lit sky. It's a beautiful night. Just cool enough to need a fire but just warm enough to be comfortable in light clothing, armor put aside. It's a strange thing seeing Fenris in a cotton tunic and rugged pants. He sits beside me by our low fire, my head on his shoulder as I start to drift off. I'm exhausted but energized all at once. His arm is around my waist, the other brushing the stray, inky strands of unwashed hair from my face. The back of my mind nags that I need to find a river and take care of this mess that is my body, but I know we may not see one for a while. We headed southwest from Kirkwall, toward the Orlais-Ferelden border, and there's nothing but dry land from here on. The nearest body of water was east of Kirkwall, the Wounded Coast, which probably would have been the smarter direction if I didn't fear being tracked back toward Lothering. I know someone will think that's where we headed, so we had to change coarse. Besides, neither Fenris nor I wished to cut a path through the Tal-Vashoth to reach the shore.

  "Tell me something, Marrian," says Fenris quietly, his eyes locked on my face and mine on the fire.

  "Yes, Fenris?"

  "Why did you not turn me away when I called for you again after three years of neither of us speaking on good terms? You could have. I would have deserved it. I'm sure Anders would have been more than willing to comfort you after whatever would have resulted from a different turn of events."

  I look up at him with quizzical eyes. "Anders? You think I...?"

  "Didn't you?"

  I look back at the fire. "He was a friend. An understanding friend, but just a friend nonetheless. His fanatics were rather annoying."

  "And mine aren't?"

  I grin. "You're not a fanatic. You're just passionate."

  His fingers find my chin and he turns my face up to look at him. "Passionate? Is that the word for it?"

  "Among others," I say, and his lips meet mine gingerly, but as always, all it takes is my hand rising up to tangle into his hair for his bashfulness to turn into eagerness. His arm tightens around my waist and his hand moves behind my neck, drawing me impossibly closer. Soon enough, he's pushing me onto my back and I'm wrapping my legs around his middle, our bodies tangling into a blissful mess of limbs. Soon, I cannot find where he ends and I begin, but I wouldn't want it any other way, on this perfect night by the dim firelight, the embers dancing to the heavens around us.


	2. Honnleath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 of 'The Day She Went'
> 
> (After Hawke and Fenris escape the chaos of Kirkwall)
> 
> "I've seen Fenris do extreme things for me before, but none quite like this."

\--

   I've seen Fenris do extreme things for me before, but none quite like this.

  It's been weeks since we've had an incident. We'd been covering so much ground, making it so far. But we never stopped. We never settled, even for a night. It was move, make camp, pick up camp, run again. No stopping at villages for anything more than a few day's worth of supplies and food and occasionally finding a river or such to clean up. But never one place for more than a day.

  Until we found Honnleath.

  I'd heard of this town before, briefly, in some text or tome. It was never anything noteworthy, just a passers-by village, until the Hero of Ferelden came and saved the villagers from darkspawn who had invaded and occupied it. I had thought we were heading farther west than that, but somehow we ended up there, and being a quiet, remote little village, we found no harm in holing up for a few days, just to give ourselves a much-needed rest. We'd been running so long. It was a wonderful opportunity.

\--

   The innkeeper had been nice enough to let us rent a room on a work loan. We had no money, of course. But we paid our dues collecting firewood and chopping it, and gathering herbs for the local apothecary, and other outdoor chores. No one wanted to be outside for too long. The cold was starting to settle in, but Fenris and I had long since gotten used to it, so the work was no bother. I'd praise the alone time in the nearby woods, as well, if we hadn't already spent so long traveling alone anyway. It became less a blessing and more a daily norm. It was precious time, of course, but we began taking it for granted. We had been so close for so long now, we no longer felt the need to join under the blankets every night like we once did. It was special enough just to lie in each other's presence, huddled together by a warm fireplace in the little room in the inn.

  Fenris nudges my arm as I attempt to pull my boot off. We sit beside each other on the bed, the dusk of a long day's work, ready to undress and prepare for bed. I look over at him and he gives me a little crooked smile that I haven't seen in a while. A long while.

  "What?" I ask, smiling a bit myself.

  "Have I ever told you how much I adore you, Marrian?" He asks, taking my hand.

  "I.. I suppose," I blush. "I mean, you've shown me."

  "Yes, but have I ever told you? Sat down and told you?"

  I glance at the fire. "I don't believe so. Where did this come from?"

  Much to my utter astonishment, Fenris stands and then kneels before me, on one knee, and pulls something from his pocket. My eyes widen.

  And then he reveals a small, golden.... string.

  I lift my eyebrow and tilt my head. "What is this?"

  He gestures to my hand and asks, "May I?"

  I nod and give him my left hand, to which he ties the string around my fourth finger, and then holds my one hand between both of his.

  "Marrian Hawke... you are exquisite. You are strong, and proud, and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. I would be nothing without you. You took a slave bound by unseen chains and set him free, let him live like a man truly lives. You've shown me what it's like to be free, and for that I can never repay you. But I hope you'll let me show you and tell you every single day of my life how grateful I am to have met you, and to have loved you. Marrian, my love, my heart, my soul... will you marry me?"

\--

   "You're kidding, right?" I ask, incredulous.

  "Only partially." He says, grinning. He stands and takes both of my hands in his, pulling me up with him. "Marrian, we could stay here. No one would think to look here. The village is so small, and the people here have accepted us. We could be safe. Build a life here."

  I gape at him. "They'll find us, Fenris. If they're looking for us, they'll find us. I'm the Champion of Kirkwall. How long before someone discovers who I am and turns me in to the Templars? We can't endanger the people here."

  "We are not endangering them. If we were being followed, we would have encountered confrontation already. We've been here for days. No one has come."

  "We don't know that. What happens when the Templars decide to scour all of the outlying villages in search of us? They'll find their way here eventually, and if the people here harbor us, or worse, discover who we are and hide us from the Order, they could all be slaughtered. We can't defend them by ourselves. If we sneak off, and then the Templars come, the townsfolk will only know that we were here for a few days and we left. No one would know who we were or where we went. They'd be safe. Us being here now is endangering all of them. They could kill everyone on principle for the hell of it." It wasn't until I stopped babbling that I realized I had begun pacing. The string on my finger seemed to be getting tighter and tighter by the second.

  "Marrian, please, just think on it. It might not be a terrible idea if you just.. think on it. For me." Fenris pleads. I've never seen this in him before.

  I sigh, exhausted. "I... maybe."

  Fenris cups my face in his hands and kisses me gently. As he pulls away, he lets out a deep breath. "I love you, Marrian."

  "I love you, too."

  "Come to bed, dear. You need rest."

  "Rest? You invite me to bed for rest?"

  Fenris smiles. "I did not say that we were resting first."

\--

   The next morning, we were lured from our sleep by the smell of smoke. We both jolt out of bed to see the roof is pulsing a deadly red and orange, and the air is clouded with a heady, dark gray cloud of smoke.

  Slipping on what clothes we can find with our eyes watering and our lungs burning, we make our way into the hall. The fire is raging from downstairs. I can see it licking at the staircase, the tendrils of flame making their way to our floor. There's no going down from there.

  "The window!" Fenris yells, coughing as he goes. He leads me to the window at the end of our hall. With his elbow, he smashes through the glass and looks out to the ground. By the Maker's blessing, there's an awning about ten feet below that we can drop onto. This window is on the back wall of the inn, and beyond it is the forest that we'd become very familiar with through all of our labor. We could easily escape the building and run. But I hear the screams of the villagers in the distance.

  We manage to get out of the building and onto the awning, but this constitutes the difficult part. The drop from the window to the awning was nothing. The awning to the ground, however, is nearly twice the height. It's going to be a rough landing.

  Fenris goes first, landing gracefully and rolling to exhaust his momentum. He reaches for me, and I drop carefully, but I don't land quite as gracefully as he did, and we end up tumbling to the ground. Somewhere in the landing, I turned my ankle. The pain licks up my leg and sends a shock through my limbs, but I bite my inner cheek and force myself to stand.

  Fenris helps me as I nearly lose my balance, but the pain will subside soon and I need to see what's going on. We circle around to the front of the building, and the sight is not what I expected. Armored chargers on horseback race through the village, shouting and making circles through the town square; but that's not the shocking part. Each of the riders carry staves, waving them in the air and setting buildings alight.

  These are mages.

  I glance at Fenris, whose eyes are narrowed and his teeth bared viciously. Why would mages be ravaging villages? I expected a hoard of Templars to come tearing through and slaughter the whole town for safeguarding the rogue Champion of Kirkwall and her escaped Tevinter slave. But, no. These are mages.

  And one of them just noticed us.

  I duck to the ground as a ball of fire is hurled in our direction. Whoever this is must know who I am, because he shouts orders to the others and suddenly there's a group of them directed at me. They shoot more fireballs, erupt spikes of ice from the ground, make the earth beneath us tremor. The pain in my ankle hasn't worn off yet, and now I'm starting to think it wasn't just a turned joint. It could be broken.

  Fenris grabs me and drags me toward the forest, but we're cut off. We turn to the right and tear through the apothecary's backyard garden, which I helped tend countless times, as the apothecary is an old witch-like woman with a kind heart and a wart on her nose. I hear the chargers racing after us, their horses' hooves shredding the soil. We duck into an alley between the apothecary and the slaughter hut and head for the square once more.

  We're met by four foot-soldiers, these actually carrying swords and shields, who howl at us and charge. I summon as much force as I can and erect a wall of flames between us and the men, then we dart off to the left and head toward the blacksmith. Just a few more buildings, and we'll have a clear shot for the Chantry/town hall. It's our only hope.

  We make it past the blacksmith, and we are bee-lining to the Chantry, but suddenly Fenris stops. A group of six or seven soldiers have spotted us and are charging in our direction. Behind them, the three riders we thought we lost in the alley are racing toward us as well. If we keep going, we could make it by a hair but it's more likely we'd be overtaken.

  My ankle is throbbing and blood is thrumming through my leg, shockwaves of pain overtaking my limbs, and I'm close to collapsing. Fenris gives me a fateful glance, eyes that scream "I love you," then tears off in the direction of the soldiers.

  I scream for him to stop, but he presses on. I curse under my breath and send a shockwave of electric energy rippling through the ground that sears into the first line of soldiers, causing them to collapse and trip up the line behind them. Fenris pummels them with a greatsword I didn't see him pick up and soon his armor is covered in the soldiers' blood. He took few hits, and races toward the next. However, not before he turns to me again and commands me to make for the Chantry.

  "Damn you!" I shout back, and send another shockwave. It doesn't cripple nearly as many men as last time, as my energy reserve is waning, but it makes a dent. A small explosion of fire takes out three men that looked like they were preparing to flank Fenris, and one short blast of ice pierces through the gut of one more. Every muscle in my body is screaming and my breathing is coming in short, rapid gasps, but I cannot let my love fight this alone. Not for me, not like this. That blasted elf will survive this night, even if it kills me.

  That may not be so far from the truth, for I feel the energy seeping from my limbs with each spell I cast. My eyes are starting to lose focus, the world going dark, but I keep going, my only concern being to fend off the soldiers and not harm my white-haired beloved in the process. It's a difficult thing, to say the least.

  With one final blast, I set the remaining soldiers alight with elemental fire, and take pleasure in the menacing look Fenris shoots back at me as I collapse to the ground and my consciousness escapes me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** I apologize for the quick pace and the short and sweet first chapter. I may go into greater detail at a later time. I hope you have enjoyed so far ♥ **


	3. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 of 'The Day She Went.'
> 
> "I knew he would have done it again in a heartbeat. And I couldn't give him that chance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** And here, my friends, is alas where the ongoing story is declared a trilogy, and here lies the third installment. Do inform me if you want more of Marrian and Fenris's tale after fleeing Kirkwall. ♥ **

\--

   Fenris told me once that if you have a thing worth fighting for, you cannot give only a portion. You must be prepared to give all.

  Even if it's at the expense of yourself.

  I did not really understand it before, but now I think I do.

  I wake with throbbing temples and blood thrumming through my limbs with a fury. My white-haired lover stands over me, watching me with weary, concerned eyes, obviously sleep-deprived from waiting so long. I give a small smile. "Fenris.."

  He immediately reaches for my hand and squeezes it gently, his eyes locking with mine. "Marrian. You're going to be alright. I swear."

  I giggle a bit, causing a deep ache within my ribs. "Oh.. Fenris. I'm glad you're okay."

  Fenris gives me a stern look. "You should have went on, like I told you. This wouldn't have happened."

  "And you would be dead."

  "You would be well-"

  "Shut up," I say sharply. "I wasn't going to let you sacrifice your bloody self for me, you selfish bastard. Not when I could help. I'd do it again a thousand times. Consequences be damned."

  He seems to chuckle a bit, though his face is grim. "Now who's selfish?"

\--

   The days pass by slowly, and I find myself eventually able to stand and walk and venture out into the town once again. Finally. The aftermath of what the rogue mages wrought is much more shocking than I saw the night of the attack. Nothing could have prepared me for the sight. Every building left standing is doing so just barely, and has hundreds of scorch scars to show for it. The ground was shredded by the horses, the grass scorched by the fire, and evidence of magical attacks linger everywhere. Lightning, ice, and of course more fire. I haven't seen such a deeply disturbing sight since the rebuilding of Kirkwall's establishments after my battle with the Qunari Arishok. Even that didn't feel quite as personal as this.

  "All of this.. was because we stayed. Because we were here too long." I say glumly, leaning against Fenris as we look out at the town square, upon the villagers hard at work rebuilding what was torn down and recovering what can be salvaged from the carnage. I don't even want to know how many lives we lost.

  "I'm sorry, Marrian. Truly, I am." he says in a low voice, his eyes locked on my face.

  "Don't apologize to me, my love. Apologize to the widows and widowers and orphans and anyone else who lost someone that night. We did this to them. We did this by staying. And now we have to live with it. And we have to move on."

  Fenris glances down at the ground. "I know. I had truly hoped we could make a home here. But those mages did not happen upon this place by accident. Did you see the soldiers with them? You may not have seen, but the ones I fought outside the Chantry courtyard were carrying Templar swords. I recognized the sunburst on the hilts of the swords when you electrocuted a whole front line of them and the line behind it toppled over. That was a rather amusing sight, by the way, now that I think about it. It wasn't at the time because I was too busy seething with anger that you did not listen to me, but I'm not sure what I expected. It probably was not for you to run off to the Chantry and leave me behind. I probably should have known better."

  "We have to leave, Fenris. This isn't safe anymore, for us or them. If that group had friends elsewhere, they'll find their way here soon enough. We can't be here when that happens." I lay my head upon his shoulder meekly, my thoughts churning.

  "I love you, Fenris." I say softly.

  "And I you, my love."

\--

   I find Miss Matilda tending her garden, as she usually does, except instead of pulling weeds, she is digging up the plants that were trampled and destroyed the night of the attack.

  "I'm sorry about the garden, Matilda." I say, dropping to my knees to help tend.

  "Do not apologize, child. I've lived in this village a long time, watched dozens of generations grow and play. This isn't the first time I have had to mend a trampled garden."

  I give a weak smile, my fingers digging instinctively into the dirt to grip the roots of the nearest plant, and pull it up. It expends more energy than I expected, and I find myself aching throughout my arms soon enough. I let out a heavy breath.

  "Do not push yourself, my dear. You fought hard that night. What happened was not any fault of yours."

  "You don't know who I am, do you?"

  "You think I would not recognize the Champion of Kirkwall?"

  I raise my eyebrows at her, her response catching me off guard. "How did you know?"

  She chuckles. "I made something of a pilgrimage to Kirkwall a few years ago to visit an elven woman who used to live here and left for the alienage. She did not have any magical ability, but I had taught her well the arts of herbal healing, and she wanted to be of use in the city. She had heard of all of the refugees from Ferelden flocking to the Free Marches. She also heard that some Grey Warden had also fled to Kirkwall, and was practicing spiritual healing arts that she was immensely curious about. Maker knows how she came about that knowledge."

  "Anders," I say quietly. "That's who she heard of. He is the mage who destroyed the Chantry. He was a marvelous healer, yes. But he was a damaged man."

  "Anyway, aside from this Anders character, I had been staying with the girl in the alienage until I could catch another ship back to Ferelden," she says, still tugging and clawing at her plants. "It was after most of the chaos had settled down with the Blight and all, so it wasn't as difficult to get in and out of the city, or between the regions. During the time I spent in the city, I made many trips to Hightown to shop. I'd never seen a marketplace such as that before. It was wonderful. During the time I was there, I saw you out on the streets once or twice. People would address you as you passed. 'Champion. Champion. Champion.' You were a hard woman to miss. And you haven't changed a bit since then."

  "I'm sorry for what happened here, still. It may not have happened if we had not have stayed so long. We haven't settled anywhere since we fled Kirkwall. It's been trying."

  "I can imagine, dear. You and your little elf are not to blame for what happened. If anything, this town should be thanking you for defending it so well. You and your elf took out all of the invaders, those that weren't smart enough to flee. You saved us from what could have erupted into a much worse situation. You guarded the Chantry. You did more than you realize."

  I glance down at my hands, my fingers wringing together nervously. "We can't stay."

  "I know, dear. I wish you could. I've enjoyed your assistance and your company. But I understand."

  "Fenris is going to hate me."

  Matilda glances up at me, though I do not meet her gaze. "Why do you say that, dear?"

  "Because we have to move on. But.. we won't be leaving together. That night... he tried to sacrifice himself to save me. If I had done as he told me and fled to the Chantry, he would be dead right now. If he had not have needed to protect me, he could have made it to the Chantry and took shelter with the rest of you. It all comes down to he and I. He wishes to protect me and would happily give his life to do so. I can't give him that chance."

  "I see, dear," she says softly. "It isn't a good situation either way. Do you truly believe leaving him will keep him out of harm's way? He seems the type to always encounter troubles on his path."

  "He is. But how many times have those troubles been due to me?"

  Matilda lowers her face, her hands no longer working as diligently. "I see. Well, I will hate to see the aftermath of your leaving, especially if he chooses to stay longer; which I doubt. I imagine he's the type to immediately set out in search of you, no matter what you say to the contrary."

  I grin a bit. "You would be correct. I just hope he doesn't do anything too reckless."

  Matilda chuckles a bit. "He's a man. He's an elf. He's an escaped slave. Recklessness is engraved into his nature."

  "You couldn't be more right."

\--

   Fenris bellows and shouts and yells at the top of his lungs as he topples the bedside table, the desk, the dresser. Anything within reach, he has to throw. He has to hit something, everything. He clutches the parchment tightly in his hand, bound together by a little golden string, stifling a sob, trying to keep the tears from escaping but ultimately failing. No amount of strength could keep his tears in. Not for this.

\--

   _My dearest Fenris,_

_I understand if you hate me. It's alright. I hate me, too. You may not see it now but this is the best decision for us. You would give anything and everything for me, even your life, and I'm grateful, I truly am. But if being with you could ultimately result in you dying to defend me, or the reverse... I couldn't bare it. Neither could you._

_So I write you this in the hopes that you will not burn the rest of the village to the ground in anger. These people deserve better than that. As for our little room at the inn, I'm sure it will get the blunt of your fury. In fact, I have no doubt. You are you, after all._

_You are you. And I love you. Do not think I am doing this for lack of love for you. In my heart, I still wear that beautiful little golden string upon my finger. I will always be yours, Fenris. Even though I have to do this. I truly am sorry._

_I've arranged for Varric to deliver my letters to you discreetly, and he can return the favor for you should you wish to write back. I understand if you don't. Do not try to pry my location from him, he will not give it. Nor will he give me yours should I ask._

_Do remember that I'm doing this for you, my love. For you and I both. This is a time of war and strife and pain and loss. This is not the age for runaway romances. People fight. People get hurt. People die. When it comes to you... I would rather be away from you and you be alive and hating me, than for us to be together... only to be ripped apart by the death of the other. We are toxic together. We cannot fight together, because we worry about the other more than ourselves, and end up hurting us both in turn. I can't do that anymore. I can't let you die in my wake... nor myself in yours._

_I hope to hear back. However, again, I understand if not._

_With never-ending love,_

_-Marrian_


End file.
